How to support Autistic People
I often hear (mostly allistic non-autistic) people asking how they can support autistic people.
Honestly, there isn’t much I can say in order to help you know how to support us. Supporting autistic people as an allistic person is a lot easier than you might think it is.
Firstly, the biggest thing to me is remembering that a lot of the things you may have once known about autism are either rooted in ableism, are misconceptions or outdated stereotypes. And knowing how to help us, comes from being willing to learn.
Remember, autistic people are in fact just people.
An autistic child is a child not a baby and an autistic adult is an adult not a child.
Do not make assumptions on the persons cognitive skills.
Many people still believe that autism is a learning disability and that autistic people are “younger mentally” than their age. This is a huge misconception.
Whilst some autistic people may also have a learning disability, they are not the same thing. Not everyone with a learning disability is autistic, and not every autistic person has a learning disability.
You should address autistic people the same way you would address anybody else. Ultimately the best way to support an autistic person is to ask them.
Every autistic person is different and will need different kinds of support. Be patient and listen, acknowledge their needs and make the necessary accommodations. You need to be willing to learn and respect that each individual.
Something I really dislike as an autistic person, is when people make assumptions about me based off of stereotypes.
For example, if a “friend” was going to a theme park and would say
“we didn’t ask you to come because we knew you wouldn’t like it, its loud and busy”
They made an assumption based off of the “autistic people don’t like loud noises” This not only takes away the autistic persons choice, but further perpetuates the stereotype. Even if the autistic person declined for those reasons, that doesn’t mean EVERY autistic person would.
When, if they would have asked me, I could let them know any accommodations I may need in order to go, and they would also find out that I love theme parks. Rollercoasters, for me are a sensory seeking paradise.
Yes, I may struggle in queues and crowds, but I know what accommodations I need.
When you make a decision for an autistic person based off of your own assumptions, this infantilises autistic people. You may not be doing it on purpose, and you may not have the intention to infantilise us, but when you take away our choice, you take away our voice.
You make the decision, much like a parent would make a decision for their child.
So, how can you best support autistic people, ASK THEM.
Questions you can ask someone who is Autisitc
Is there anything you can tell me that will help me understand you better?
Would you like to let me know what your boundaries are?
How can I best support you in (insert situation)?
If you feel comfortable doing so, can you let me know what your support needs are?
Do you ever struggle with verbal communication, if yes, what is the best way to communicate with you during those moments?
How can I support you after a meltdown?
We are going to (insert place) for dinner, would you like to come? Here is the menu and website so you can prepare
Are you okay with verbal instructions, or would you like written ones too?
Do you want to go to (insert activity) just a heads up it’s usually loud and bright, so you can bring sunglasses or ear defenders if you need to. Is there anything else you may need?
This is just a couple of questions, of course it would depend on the situation, but I hope this is a helpful starting point!
Have a super good day!
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